About Self-Love

I’ve been called selfish today and I was unsure of the accuracy of that statement and how I should be feeling about it.

I’ve been told that I sometimes came across as prickly and generally difficult as well. I believe that it was often the case that I came acorss that way precisely because I questioned how altruistic my thoughts and rationale truly were, and that made me somewhat defensive for some reason.

In my head, I’ve always felt that I must do what is best for myself in order to be able to do what is best for a large number of people someday. I prefered impacting a substantial number of lives instead of a few. I was unsure of whether this was egocentrism or passion. It might have been a mixture of both. One might have been temporarily needed in order to engender the other. All I knew was that I wanted to make a difference, and if that made me come off as egomaniacal than so be it.

My time was limited on this earth and I did not want to waste it on non value-adding activities and a low-impact life.

The Fraud Police

In her book “The art of asking”, Amanda Palmer, famous singer / songwriter talks about what she called the “fraud police”. The fraud police was this voice inside each and everyone of us telling us that we were imposters. Thinking about it, I recalled hearing that inner voice in my head. I heard it often, specifically when I’d speak to a person about my career, I’d feel uneasy as though there was some kind of imposter talking. I wasn’t completely established in my career trajectory technically just yet, my portfolio was still kind of in development, my income wasn’t substantial…
But then again, I would not portray myself in a specific way if I was not confident enough to take on the role.
Photo credits: katepm

The bossy woman as portrayed by social media channels

I’ve been working on my own entrepreneurial project to build a social media integrated marketplace for online sellers. It’s the first startup idea I am taking on the full risks for. I have managed to find a small part time team to join in. But so far I am the sole one investing my full time into the project.
At this specific point in my life, I am obsessed with the concept of the balanced independent woman, or the #bossbabe, #girlboss, #bosslady. What this hashtag or concept represents, to me, is the independant modern-day superwoman who’s building her own empire, is fully independant, unapologetic, strong, has endured hardships that she is using to her advantage, does not fit into traditional societies’ one-size-fits-all holes and might even have trouble finding a decent life partner mainly because of her bread-maker role.
I often feel lost between focusing on social life or career dedication, commitment potentials and long term career goals, investing in my business or investing in my personal life.
As a free soul in a conventional country and region, this contrast is ever so apparent and problematic. I have this theory that moving to the developed part of the world would help me focus on my career and ambitions.
However, seeing as though I’ve been voluntarily unemployed for the past few months, this does not seem like a very good idea at the moment. I’d like to remain patient until the website is at least semi-launched and operational and when I had some kind of traction and revenue.
In the meantime, I’ve been reading and participating in all female-empowerment related activities, such as workshops held by women empowerment entities belonging to the United Nations.


The outcomes of failure and success and how some people choose to use them to their advantage

Failure almost always entails one of two things, and often a combination of the two: Demotivation and motivation. Demotivation comes from that feeling of defeit, and that feeling that you might never actually accomplish the task that you have set for yourself, or even worse, that it might no longer be worth striving for. Those who endure and keep striving forward are those who succeed in contrast to others that go through similiar circumstances but give in to defeit. For that reason, one must keep a positive outlook on his path so that the obstacles which he/she has encountered can be considered as lessons instead of downfalls.

What is normally considered a success or a failure is often ambiguous

Success and failure are both quite subjective. They can depend on several factors including the goal(s) that you have set and how you choose to approach them. If your goal is to build a million dollar organization by the age of 30 and you have come really close but have not been able to achieve that, then you might consider yourself as a failure with regards to that specific goal. Nonetheless, someone in the exact same situation with the exact same goal in mind might consider his progress in approaching that goal as a big trait of success, even if he/she has not actually reached his/her target just yet.

The break-even points in reaching your goal(s)

There are certain break-even points when it comes to goals which also are not always clear. You might have reached your desired outcome(s) in the exact period of time which you had set for yourself to be able to reach it in. However, you might have exhausted more resourcess than what you should have while achieving that specific goal, whether those resource shortages be social, psychological, monetary, physical or otherwise…

— Rana Tarakji


For all those of you who are easily bored to tears with general interest movies, I have compiled a list of some top thought-provoking movies below.

1- Good Will Hunting (1997)

Good Will Hunting is about a custodian at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Will, who appears to be a gifted accidental mathematician and is soon discovered by a psychologist who decides to mentor him and turn his life upside down. Rated 8.2/10 on IMDb.

2- A Beautiful Mind (2001)

A Beautiful Mind is a story about an exceptional – nobel prize winner to be – mathematician who is socially detached and develops symptoms of mental illness leading him to become dillusional and even somewhat insane. His dellusions become more and more extreme and end up affecting his life dramatically. Rated 8.2/10 on IMDb.

3- Vanilla Sky (2001)

Tom Cruise plays the role of a wealthy and vain person, who runs into a car accidnet with a bitter lover and has his prosperous life overturned. Rated 6.9/10 on IMDb.

4- Rain Man (1988)

Rain Man is inspired by a true story about a savant by the name of Raymond who is left with a vast amount of money after his brother’s death. Rated 8.0/10 on IMDb.

5- Hugo (2011)

An orphan living his life within a train station is deeply invovled in his deceissed father’s paradox. Rated 7.6/10 on IMDb.

The final candidates for a highly desirable corporate job are locked together in an exam room and given a test so simple and confusing that tension begins to unravel.

6- Requiem for a Dream (2000)

Creatively capturing the distinctive features of humans’ yearnings for personal connection and affection, this movie is somewhat of an allegory of the discovery and subsequent loss of happiness.Rated 8.4/10 on IMDb.

7- The Truman Show (1998)

Starring Jim Carrey, this movie is an ironic social science fiction drama / comedy. The story is about Truman, a typical American who is unconscious of the fact that his life is actually an illusory TV show. He begins to doubt this throughout the years and eventually attempts to escape this fictional life, in the process of which he is faced with numerous obstacles. This movie interestingly might make you want to stop and think about your general exitence for a moment. Rated 8.0/10 on IMDb.